Restless

Restless, but I don't know about the young part.....okay maybe I'm still considered young.  Who really knows anymore, age is just a number, right? 
I don't know what it is these days, but I have been feeling so restless.  I have this stirring in my soul to do or be something but I'm just not sure of it.  I haven't decided if it's just a phase in my life that I'm going through, or just a need to be needed, or a stirring from God.  And school has been a real struggle for me lately.  I can't seem to focus on any of my homework assignments.  I've been trying to convince myself that I need to strap down and get it together but I just can't stay on task.  I have prayed and prayed about God's direction for my life in regards to school and what he wants me to accomplish through it, or if it's even something that is in his will for my life.  I need a revelation of some sort, a clear direction to know and feel the peace in my heart of being satisfied with right here and right now.  Just to be still and know that He is......He is God, He is in control, He is always faithful, He is!!  But God....I am so fragile right now, I am so worried over little things, I am feeling restless.....even though I am.....He still is!! 
I really thought these feelings of restlessness would come later in life, ya know?  Like when I have all my children grown.....but so far I only have one who has flown the coop and 2 little chicks still under my wing.  I don't want to disappoint them.  I want to give them something or someone to look up to.  I have always wanted to finish college, but I didn't go when I was fresh out of high school because I didn't know what I wanted to "be" you know like they tell you.......would I be who I was supposed to be if I had gone to college when I graduated?  I can't answer that, but what I do know is God knows....he has ordained my days and he knew I would be right where I am today.  Jeremiah 29:11 tells me that he knows the plans he has for me, plans to prosper and not to harm me.  Sometimes my plans bring harm to myself....maybe not physical harm but spiritual harm.  My plans have even allowed me to prosper at times....but not like God's plan does.  I don't just mean financially either, I mean to really prosper.  To have things that money can't buy.....really those aren't things at all and they didn't come through my own doing either.  I usually mess that stuff up, but what God has ordained can't be made into a mess.  He turns my messes into beauty.....He is so good!! 
Really this is just me, talking to myself.  Trying to convince myself of what to do here.....where to turn next?  In all reality I just need to let God be who He is and allow him to work in my life.  So where to turn next.....my knees....it's only place where peace will surpass all understanding in my life.