Mother/Daughter-in-law or Mother/Daughter-in-love

  I was on pinterest a few days ago and came across something(okay I pinned for like an hour....but who's counting?!) and pinned it, 20 things every mother should tell her son.  One really stuck out to me, #20 said "choose your spouse wisely, she will be the gatekeeper to you and my grandchildren someday."
  Wow, is that not the truth.  So many Mother/Daughter-in-law relationships are horrible, even my own wasn't perfect and we had alot to learn about one another.  But I admired her and respected her opinion, and when I felt she disapproved it hurt me and caused tension.  I was immature in some ways and didn't want to be corrected or told I wasn't doing my job as a wife or a mother the right way.  I now know that she never meant I was doing it wrong, she just wanted to share her ideas with me....But I never asked because I didn't want a confrontation and so there it stood a wall between the two of us.  Two women that Loved the same man and this sweet little boy.  I definitely could have used the advice, but pride wouldn't allow me to accept it and the devil knew my weakness as a new wife and Mom.  Let me just remind you that I was only 19, I'm not saying that as an excuse for myself, but as a reminder that at that age I really had no clue.  I knew I loved my husband and I loved our son and that's all I needed to know at the time.  Now that I look back, I know that my Mother-In-Love really knew what she was talking about.  I'm not saying I should have submitted to her every whim or idea for what was best for us a family, no we  had to figure that our for ourselves.  But it wouldn't have hurt matters for me to consider her ideas and thoughts, after all, she did raise a wonderful man.  Don't get me wrong, we had our good times too.  She was funny and knew how to make people smile.  She was also had a very good knack for listening and reading people and their life situations.  She truly was a wonderful Woman and a wonderful Nani.
   Now Jeff and I have been married for 13 years, and Shirley, Jeff's Mom passed on after we were only married 6 years.   I've learned alot, and most of it the hard way.  So many times in the last few years as my boys are growing up I've wanted to ask her how she dealt with certain situations. I have often told Max before that he was my guinea pig child, he got everything tested on him first(as I'm sure it is with most first borns). 
  So what I have to say to all the future brides out there.......and this is more important than ever to me.....Love your Mother in Loves...after all they had a hand in creating and refining the man you love so much!  Respect their opinions, they may not be what you would do, but you cannot have Love without Respect, it just goes hand in hand. 
  I miss my Mother-in-love dearly and I pray EVERYDAY that God blesses me with a lovely daughter-in-love that can see the beauty of the Mother/Son relationship, as well as the beauty that lies in the relationship between the Mother/Daughter-in-Love.  After all.....I'm not asking for a Naomi and Ruth type of relationship.....I just don't want to lose a son, I want to gain a daughter!  And I will always try my best to respect their relationship as well.

I like this scripture for a new and blossoming relationships......

Ephesians 4:2

Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in Love.


Now I want to be a little silly and remind you of a quote; 

A son is a son until he gains a wife....

Well I'm putting my own spin on that because as a mother of two sons I just can't believe that.  So here it is (This is by no means meant to offend anyone, just a little funny I came up with the other day, and if it offends then maybe you should check your relationship with your MIL);

A son is a son for life, if he changed his mind it's because of his wife!

Have a great day!!

It ain't over 'til it's over....or is it?

Surely everyone has been on a carousel, right?  I personally hate them.....they go round and round and round and round...well you get the picture!  You know what I LOVE?  Rollercoasters!  They're FAST, up, down, around and BOOM....your done!  Just like a band-aid.....once it's on you're stuck and you just have to ride it or rip it off quick!!  Lately my life has been alot like a carousel, the round and round.  Did I mention I HATE them?  Oh, yes I did!  Well it's not much different in life, I don't enjoy when things keep going round and round.  Much like the carousel, it upsets my stomach.  It frustrates me because I just want to get off, and no matter how many times I think I've jumped off I'm still going round and round.  What I'm getting at with this is; Sometimes in life just like at the carnival, people enjoy the carousel.  They enjoy the round and round, they just can't let it go.  Even though you don't want to ride, they always manage to try and drag you on it!  I mean who doesn't want their words to matter, and make a point.....get it across what you really want to say.....but then it just needs to end!  But it can't because there will always be more to it than what meets the eye.  I've found that the best thing is to just agree with that person, and walk away.  It doesn't mean they are right and you are wrong, it just means your carousel ticket has expired.  That's it!!  When it comes to life's problems, I would much rather take the coaster!  It's gonna have it's ups and downs and it might even loop, but dang it.....when is over it's over! 

I found the following scripture to be very fitting for the days ahead of me!

 

1 Corinthians 6

New Living Translation (NLT)

⁷ Even to have such lawsuits with one another is a defeat for you. Why not just accept the injustice and leave it at that? Why not let yourselves be cheated? ⁸ Instead, you yourselves are the ones who do wrong and cheat even your fellow believers.^[c]

Releasing the Flood

I’ve been wrestling with forgiveness for quite sometime now.  The more I considered it the more hurt I became.  Thinking over and over in my head how can I forgive I want this person to feel my pain and the deepness of the hurt I feel.  When all along I’ve been the only one in agony and my pain will never be theirs.  This person doesn’t even know they’ve wronged me, although they should.  It’s pretty clear by my absence in their life that I no longer want to be friends and I’ve been hurt.  Regardless of my feelings God has called me to forgive and until I did I was miserable.  I mean I still functioned on a daily basis and being happy at the right times, but I had lost my Joy for life.  I had considered this person to be my Joy stealer, when in reality I had just handed it over.  They didn’t steal my joy, I freely gave it up by holding on to my hurt and creating a grudge against the injustice I felt was done to me.  In my mind by holding on to this grudge I was holding on to everything that I didn’t want to lose, but when the whole picture was revealed, well lets just say I was losing it….literally!  I had many conversations with God trying to convince him I had the right to hang on, telling him if I hold on to it, things will work out for the best.  Just in case you’ve ever been curious about the thoughts of a scatter brained, grudge holding, do-it-yourselfer…well wonder no more!!  I was not ready to give up or let go.  I felt insecure and stressed just to name a few.  I had shared my sob story with my husband, a friend and my Mom.  I was dragging my feet straight through the wilderness when suddenly(well if you call a year later sudden) I felt God urging me through a song.  He wanted me to let him be the redeemer of my hurt, the sounding board for my pain and loss.  He told me to just forgive, he would handle the rest.  Okay, truthfully, he had been telling me that for a while, but I wasn’t ready.  I guess in that moment I was finally ready, my feet were tired from all the wilderness walking, you know that will wear a girl out!  So I sat there in my misery and decided to reach out to the person that had caused all my hurt, I shared my heavy heart and opened it back up to allow forgiveness in.  I needed desperately to lay it all down at the feet of Jesus.  I knew I was taking a chance that this person may not be willing to open up to me, but that wasn't the point.  Just saying that I needed to forgive was all it took!  What happened after that matters not, I’ve since forgiven and just saying the words released the flood of blessings that had been built up for over a year!  They just began to poor in and all around!  It was amazing, God is Amazing when we let him show us his Glory!  I urge you friends to listen to that voice in your heart crying out to be free with forgiveness….release the flood!