Mother/Daughter-in-law or Mother/Daughter-in-love

  I was on pinterest a few days ago and came across something(okay I pinned for like an hour....but who's counting?!) and pinned it, 20 things every mother should tell her son.  One really stuck out to me, #20 said "choose your spouse wisely, she will be the gatekeeper to you and my grandchildren someday."
  Wow, is that not the truth.  So many Mother/Daughter-in-law relationships are horrible, even my own wasn't perfect and we had alot to learn about one another.  But I admired her and respected her opinion, and when I felt she disapproved it hurt me and caused tension.  I was immature in some ways and didn't want to be corrected or told I wasn't doing my job as a wife or a mother the right way.  I now know that she never meant I was doing it wrong, she just wanted to share her ideas with me....But I never asked because I didn't want a confrontation and so there it stood a wall between the two of us.  Two women that Loved the same man and this sweet little boy.  I definitely could have used the advice, but pride wouldn't allow me to accept it and the devil knew my weakness as a new wife and Mom.  Let me just remind you that I was only 19, I'm not saying that as an excuse for myself, but as a reminder that at that age I really had no clue.  I knew I loved my husband and I loved our son and that's all I needed to know at the time.  Now that I look back, I know that my Mother-In-Love really knew what she was talking about.  I'm not saying I should have submitted to her every whim or idea for what was best for us a family, no we  had to figure that our for ourselves.  But it wouldn't have hurt matters for me to consider her ideas and thoughts, after all, she did raise a wonderful man.  Don't get me wrong, we had our good times too.  She was funny and knew how to make people smile.  She was also had a very good knack for listening and reading people and their life situations.  She truly was a wonderful Woman and a wonderful Nani.
   Now Jeff and I have been married for 13 years, and Shirley, Jeff's Mom passed on after we were only married 6 years.   I've learned alot, and most of it the hard way.  So many times in the last few years as my boys are growing up I've wanted to ask her how she dealt with certain situations. I have often told Max before that he was my guinea pig child, he got everything tested on him first(as I'm sure it is with most first borns). 
  So what I have to say to all the future brides out there.......and this is more important than ever to me.....Love your Mother in Loves...after all they had a hand in creating and refining the man you love so much!  Respect their opinions, they may not be what you would do, but you cannot have Love without Respect, it just goes hand in hand. 
  I miss my Mother-in-love dearly and I pray EVERYDAY that God blesses me with a lovely daughter-in-love that can see the beauty of the Mother/Son relationship, as well as the beauty that lies in the relationship between the Mother/Daughter-in-Love.  After all.....I'm not asking for a Naomi and Ruth type of relationship.....I just don't want to lose a son, I want to gain a daughter!  And I will always try my best to respect their relationship as well.

I like this scripture for a new and blossoming relationships......

Ephesians 4:2

Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in Love.


Now I want to be a little silly and remind you of a quote; 

A son is a son until he gains a wife....

Well I'm putting my own spin on that because as a mother of two sons I just can't believe that.  So here it is (This is by no means meant to offend anyone, just a little funny I came up with the other day, and if it offends then maybe you should check your relationship with your MIL);

A son is a son for life, if he changed his mind it's because of his wife!

Have a great day!!